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Born and raised in Ventura, I was often at the beach or up in the hills chasing game. As an avid outdoorsman, I believed the Lord was calling me as I sat there suspended in the ocean, or as I stumbled through the hills chasing after game.
In the summer of my 15'th year, all innocence was lost as I ventured into a dark, private place with a sweet little girl from High School. Little did I know at the time that that event would set me into a lifestyle of bondage and destruction.
And then one afternoon during my college days at Cal Poly, a bunch of pretty girls asked me if I'd like to "Come along to church with them". My selfish actions had pretty much estranged me from solid, close relationships up to that point. If you weren't a hottie or someone who could lead me to one, we weren't friends. And so, I was pretty much a loner with not much to do on a Wednesday night, so I decided to pursue these three hotties and go to their church event.
The music was cool, the people were young and happy, and I sensed the same level of innocence and purity in them that I had right up to my 15'th birthday. Right after the service, a group of people prayed with me, and I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.
The Savior presented to me that night was a Savior who would make me feel good. There was no mention of a Savior who would save me from hell. So, in the years to follow through college, when I wasn't feeling good, or when life got challenging, I didn't reach out to God to rescue me and comfort me, but I reached out to strange girls to fulfill the desires that were propelling me.
Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron explain this best with the following illustration: There were two men who boarded a plane. The first man was handed a parachute pack, and ordered to put it on. He was told the chute would make his ride more enjoyable and he would feel great! Twenty minutes after takeoff, the man's back was aching with the pack on, and people were poking fun of him as he sat there, and so he started feeling really uncomfortable. So, he took off the pack.
The second man boarded the plane and the stewardess handed him a pack, but she warned him that the pack would keep him from certain death in the event that the plane crashed. So, when people started poking fun of him and his back ached, and turbulence came, passenger number 2 was resting assured in knowing that if the plane went down, all he'd have to do would be to jump out, pull the rip chord, and float down to safety.
So, after college, my life was like a ship on the rocks. Turbulence came, comfort was gone, and with a new wife and a young child tugging at me, rather than turning to the Lord for my strength, I threw off my Hope and I turned to my flesh as I'd done so often in the past. It was cool, comfortable, and it made me feel so good! As I continued to entertain strange women and sought after secret parties and pleasure, my life came to a point where my young family was just a distraction. At the same time my wife was nagging me to be a man, to stop thinking of myself, and to grow up! She didn't know I was cheating on her, but she did know I wasn't loving her by my lack of home time, fowl mouth, and overall rude behavior toward her. I just couldn't handle it all, the stress was too much! So divorce, it seemed, would be the only way to free myself from the bondage of marriage. As long as I didn't have to follow anyones rules, I'd feel good about myself all the time. So, my wife and I discussed our options, and planned on proceeding forward with the divorce.
A week later on a business trip, a silver haired man and his wife seated in front of me on the plane turned around and kindly introduced themselves. The man asked me to tell him about my life. After spilling all that was happening in my life, the man simply smiled and said, "We'll be praying for you." Upon landing and walking through the airport a clear message came to me that said, "Do not divorce your wife, but love her and keep her."
On arriving at home, I met my one year old and my wife at the door. I will never forget the look in my sons eyes. It was as if the Lord was looking at me through his blue eyes, telling me, "Don't blow it, Justin." So, I said to Joanna, "We're gonna make this work."As I answered His call to stay married, my life started changing. Things weren't exactly easy with the marriage and the committment and the sacrifices and everything, but the Lord had me, and moreover, I wanted Him. I knew in the deepest seat of my consciense, that He was the only One who could keep me away from my biggest enemy; myself.
In the months to follow, my wife and I enrolled ourselves into Biblical Counseling at Calvary Chapel Santa Maria, and sought to straighten out our past. Later I enrolled in the Exemplary Husbands course.
After that, an Elder at our Church and my Exemplary Husbands teacher, encouraged me to step out in faith and enroll in the Timothy's Ordination Class instructed by our Pastor Paul. I told Tony I'd consider it, but reasoned with myself that I was just fine knowing God, but not really someone who could share God's love with others.
But the Lord had other plans. Before I knew it I was 1500 pages deep into Theology, Scripture, and all things Jesus.
Up to that point, I had maybe read one book in it's entirety, even through college. I cheated my way through college and didn't do my homework, let alone read. But I couldn't read this material fast enough! The Lord gave me an undying thirst for His Word.
Throughout His Scriptures, the Lord began to reveal to me in particular the realness of Hell, and the opportunity of Eternity with Him. I really started to think that if God could make all this, and us, and make it all in such perfect balance and harmony (minus wars and death, etc., which I will discuss later) then why could He not take it all from whoever He wanted just as easily. I came to the understanding that He was the One who gave me life, and I better figure out how to get right with Him. As my Creator and Protector, all He really wants is for me to give Him the glory for just that; for being made by Him. I reasoned, if He didn't love me and want me protected, then He wouldn't have given gravity, or any other natural laws to keep us safe; let alone His written law. (See Exodus 20). And what better way for me to prove how grateful I am to Him for making me, than to obey what it is He wants me to do?
I know that He wants my obedience more than my sacrifices. Because if I'm not doing what He wants, then what good is my money to him, or my charity to others, or even what I eat or drink?
One morning in my studies, I pictured myself standing before Him on judgment day. He asked me, "Justin, I brought you through so much, and gave to you without ceasing. But what have you done with all that I've given you?" See, I'd let people know about Him from time to time, and I'd learned how to behave like a good Christian on Sunday and most of the time at work, but that day it became crystal clear to me that I had so much more work to do for Him.
I had to give Him my every thought, my every emotion, my every step. I really had to turn my life over to Him.
I didn't want to be the unprofitable servant cast into the outer darkness where there would be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
I wanted to be the servant who had faith with what was given. The one who multiplied his talents. The one who upon meeting his master, would have him reply, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." (See Mathew 25:14-29)
And He has done just that! He has restored my painful, broken back. He has put me on the Central Coast. He has given me a house, a job, and a beautiful wife; a wife who forgave me even after I was so unfaithful to her. After all the sin I committed against Him, He has forgiven me. He has cast my sin as far as the East is from the West. From sea to shining sea. There, my friends, is the definition of the peace that passeth all understanding.
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